Sometimes, life has to bring you to a low to give you the motivation to built yourself back up, like a phoenix coming back to life.
And I feel that in recent weeks, that is where I have reached.
My anxiety and sadness and my constant fear of others being mad at me and basing my self-worth on how others see me is making me feel like a shadow of a person. This person I am now, that pulls the skin on her lips and bites her nails in a nervous compulsion, that can cry at the drop of a hat and the slightest word, that feels unmotivated and sometimes even lost, she is not me. My relationships with everyone are being affected because I am constantly caught up in my own emotions.
So now my Christmas break is beginning. And it is a time of reinvention. This is my favorite time of the year, and I plan to make the most of it. From actually making gifts this year (hopefully, my art skills are less than satisfactory), to listening to Christmas music, to taking photos for fun, to seeing my friends from home, to reading (oh, so many books to be read!), to journaling and writing to figure myself out a little bit more, I am determined to be myself again.
I’m hoping to use my blog as motivation, to keep track of my progress and share it with you guys. If any of you feel like you are in a rut, I hope that I can inspire you to do what makes you happy, and if you don’t know what that is, to try and find it.
Thank you for the support, and I will talk to you soon 🙂